Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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