what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
