she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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