Cold hands, warm shart.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
