I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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