I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
