we made out on top of his cat.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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