i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
This is classic penis vs brain.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize