He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
