Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
