At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
