It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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