oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
