I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
