things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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