I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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