dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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