Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize