so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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