sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
