is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
