She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
