I wanna bring you to show and tell
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize