just come out here and I will go home with you...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
