And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
