I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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