So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
