I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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