He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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