trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
