idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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