wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
