YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
