I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
