There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
