Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
