I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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