You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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