Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
This is my life. Enjoy the view
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
