evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
