i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize