grandma shit on top of the toilet
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
