White coat. Heels.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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