best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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