I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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