do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
