I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
