Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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