My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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