Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
sarcasm needs its own font
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I could fuck to npr.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
