ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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