do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Randomize
