would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
only you would photoshop your dick
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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