I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
