I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
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