I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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