There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
