sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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