sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
