I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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