the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
