why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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