So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
