It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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