I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
