So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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