White coat. Heels.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
