I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
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