I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
