I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
