hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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