i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
