C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
