do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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