Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
