But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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