i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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