didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
