i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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