Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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