I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
